glamorous in retrospect

Sherry Tasting at Gonzalez-Byass

Jessica Hoolko — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:28:32 +0000

Gonzalez-Byass, originally uploaded by jhoolko.

Bastille Day in Paris

Jessica Hoolko — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:47:34 +0000

Bastille Day, 2007, originally uploaded by jhoolko.

A photo from a family trip to Paris from nearly five years ago. In a happy accident, we ended up there on Bastille Day. It was hot, and the crowds were immense, but watching fireworks behind the Eiffel Tower with 600,000 French people was a pretty awesome experience.

Arenal, Costa Rica

Jessica Hoolko — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 17:27:20 +0000

Potro, Arenal, Costa Rica, originally uploaded by jhoolko.

A throwback from my trip to Costa Rica in spring of 2008. The mountain climbing up into the clouds behind the little baby horse is actually Volcán Arenal, or Arenal Volcano, which was up until recently one of the world’s most active volcanoes. It’s in a “resting phase” now, but still manages to throw out enough ash, smoke, and lava to put on a pretty good show for visitors….when it’s not covered in clouds.

North American Language and Culture Assistants/Auxiliares Q&A Part 5

Jessica Hoolko — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:07:11 +0000

A little more info on leaving the program….

Hi, I am an auxilary in Granada. I am very unhappy–terrible homesickness–and am thinking of leaving the program at the end of February. I was wondering how “the powers that be” (aka the regional coordinators) took the news? How did you ‘frame’ your story—did you tell them that you were unhappy, or had found a better offer, or what? I don’t know how to tell them. And did you tell your school first, or those in charge of the Andalucia program in Sevilla? I live in the city, but work in a pueblo. I’m there around 20 hours a week because it is super remote and there is no options for buses, so I commute….I spent 8 hours a week in the teachers lounge twiddling my thumbs, and the rest of the time I sit in the classes and pronounce words in English occasionally. I’m really bored, and lonely, which I think is exacerbating the home sickness.

So it sounds like your situation is similar to what mine was, except that you live in a big city on the weekends….so I totally sympathize with feeling like you’re in the middle of nowhere, wondering what the point of the whole program is, etc.

I had two schools and one of them was VERY welcoming and nice and awesome and the other didn’t really bother to include me in anything. I was super nervous about telling both of them that I was leaving, but for different reasons. Neither of them took the news especially well, in that they seemed disappointed and tried to convince me to stay, but there was no problem at all with actually leaving. No one yelled, no one lectured me, no one took away my NIE or my money! I had to sign a statement saying that I was electing to leave, and they had to pay me for the work that I did. I made sure to leave on the first of the month so that the process of receiving my last paycheck was easy….I was paid monthly and normally got paid on the 1st, so on my last day I collected my check and left. I actually asked them if I was going to get paid for the last month because I really needed the money, and they said (and I quote) “Come on we’re not THAT terrible!” Truth is, they weren’t terrible about it at all, even the principal at my elementary school who didn’t like me because I had taken two days off in December to go on a trip with my boyfriend. He was also bitter that he had been assigned to a little middle-of-nowhere school so far from where he wanted to be living. I must admit I did go to the bank and cash that check RIGHT away just in case they changed their mind…

I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your school or your coworkers, but if you’re comfortable with it, my first piece of advice would be to talk to the person who you’re most comfortable with and tell them that you are really unhappy. If you tell the school that you are thinking about leaving because you’re terribly homesick and don’t feel like you’re being utilized properly in their English program, maybe they will do something to fix it. Unless you have a particularly unfriendly batch of coworkers, I don’t see what the downside to doing that could be, besides perhaps a little bit of awkwardness. I think if I had made more of an effort to approach the coworkers who I was friends with and told them that I needed some help and support to keep me from leaving, they would have gone out of their way to help me out. In the classroom I know that I also didn’t really enjoy work when there wasn’t really work to do….I actually maintained my blog during the hours I spent in the teachers lounge and the only reason I didn’t complain about having to sit around for so long doing nothing was because I didn’t have internet in my house or anywhere else, so those precious hours were the only times I could check email, etc. But it was still super frustrating that I was going SO out of my way (my weekly commute was about 6 hours by bus total) for something that didn’t really matter to anyone.

The best days for me were the days where I put a little extra effort into my lesson plans (one of my schools let me run a full class, at the other school I just stood there and smiled) and realized that the kids totally loved when I was there. If you have the ability, ask if you can maybe branch out in class. I love arts and crafts and on the days that I brought those things into the classroom, I actually liked working and felt like the kids got something out of it. Some days I’d bring in American food like maple syrup for the high schoolers to taste and describe in English, other days I would force them to act out Thanksgiving plays (complete with costumes I made in my very plentiful free time) in English…when they were having fun, I was having a much better time.

Not living in the town the entire week made it much harder for me to bond with anyone in the area and the fact that I had two apartments (one in the town where I worked, one in a slightly larger town 2-3 hours away where there were other auxiliars) made it almost impossible for me to ever feel like I was “home.” All my stuff was divided between two locations, I couldn’t afford anything nice, we never had hot water or heat….I was less than comfortable in the places I rented, to say the least. BUT, if you have an opportunity to make friends with neighbors, coworkers, etc., do it! I should have told someone earlier that I was unhappy because there were a lot of great people around me who would have helped me out….I was just too nervous and unsure to say anything.

If you don’t think bringing up your homesickness to someone else would work, of if you try and are still feeling terrible, then leave. Tell your school honestly that you really tried but are simply too unhappy to stay in the program. You’re not their slave, you didn’t sign over your year to them, they can’t take any legal action against you or punish you because you are unhappy and want to leave. If you get paid quarterly and have been paid for work that you haven’t done yet, I’m sure that will need to be worked out, but don’t feel like they are going to mistreat you because you’re leaving. One of the things that made it easier for me to leave was that I KNEW that they weren’t getting any kind of huge benefit from me being there. They didn’t make an effort to incorporate me into lesson plans, and I usually felt like my presence was just being used by the English teachers as an easy way to catch a bit of a break while I took over their class for an hour. I felt like a burden to them at times, and even though I knew the kids were sad that I was leaving, I also knew that I was more of an exciting novelty in the town and my absence wasn’t going to hurt their English-learning in any significant way.

In retrospect, I would have tried harder to stay. I would have put more of an effort in and told people ahead of time that I didn’t feel happy. I really wish that I could have put the program on my resume instead of the awkward half-blank that I had to strategically explain while job hunting back in the States, trying to not look like a quitter. But I also remember how miserable I was at the time and I know that there were a number of other things bothering me besides just feeling bored and lonely. The program is supposed to be a great experience for you and a great value to the schools you work at. If you’re not having a great experience and the school isn’t getting anything out of you being there, then what is the point, really?

I miss Spain and wish I was back there (though obviously if I returned I would want the circumstances to be a little different from my auxiliar experience!). I know that I’m probably never going to have the opportunity to put everything on hold and go back, and it bothers me that my experience wasn’t 100% positive. But I also have some GREAT stories about my weird little adventure that not too many other people have experienced or seen.

Good luck, give it one last try, and bottom line, do whatever makes you happy and won’t leave you with regret. If you have any more questions, let me know. It’s been a while since I was there but it’s a hard experience to forget. (and next time my reply won’t be sooooo long!).

I do have one last question, if you don’t mind—do you not mention your participation in the program AT ALL on your resume? Or do you just say that you worked from October-March?

To answer your last question, I did put the program on my resume, October-March. I also put my experience as “private English teacher” on for the remainder of my time in Spain. In general, I think having something on there is better than having a big gap. If you have a gap, they’re going to ask you about it anyway, so might as well be up front with it. In my experience, it’s an interesting addition to anyone’s resume and an easy conversation starter in the interview process. I think it’s very good for showing independence, ability to solve problems, step outside your comfort zone etc. I did have one interview in which they asked me why the program was so short….I explained why I left, and I feel like it left a bad impression. I didn’t get that job (I don’t think that was the reason, but it certainly didn’t help). However, I was up front about the experience during the interview for my current job, explaining my reasons for leaving, and they hired me . I did frame it more like “I wasn’t getting the experience that I wanted out of the program and I know the school wasn’t getting the benefit that they were supposed to get from my presence, so I left to do something that would be better for me.” I tried to present my leaving the program as a show of assertiveness rather than quitting, and I think it worked.

It’s certainly not the end of the world resume-wise, but it would have been a lot easier to have the whole thing on there. No one likes having to talk about quitting anything during a job interview!

Pasteleria Martínez

Jessica Hoolko — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 19:26:46 +0000

Pasteleria Martínez, originally uploaded by jhoolko.

It’s cold and rainy here in San Francisco, and whenever the temperature drops, I’m inevitably reminded of the winter I spent in Spain, the coldest winter the country had seen for many many years, and the coldest winter I had ever seen (yeah, yeah, So Cal wimp, I know). On a day like today, if I were in Baeza, I’d be settled comfortably into one of the cozy window tables at Pasteleria Martínez on the little town’s main drag, c/ San Pablo, watching the rain fall and listening to church bells. And stuffing my face with tocinillo de cielo.

Kunsthaus Tacheles

Jessica Hoolko — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 23:18:30 +0000

Some artwork in the Tacheles art center in Berlin on a sunny September day.

North American Language and Culture Assistants/Auxiliares Q&A Part 4

Jessica Hoolko — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:53:15 +0000

Some more questions I received via email, this time from a current auxiliar on quitting and alternatives to the program …

I am an Auxiliar and I found your blog post about quitting and becoming an au pair in Madrid. I love it here, but, was thinking about quitting to be an au pair, or maybe do the WWOOF farm thing and really focus on my Spanish while I am here. I am also applying for jobs back home and want to go back if I get one. I am wondering about the process for quitting. Could you tell me how it went? I was paid for 3 months at once and am wondering if my next payment is like that, will I need to pay back some or.. I don’t know, I just could not find any information about breaking the contract or anything. How did the school react? Thank you for your help. I am glad I found the post.

I’d be happy to give you my two cents, though it sounds like there are a few differences between our two experiences!

First of all, you say that you love it where you are; if that’s true, then stay! Stick it out and continue enjoying your time. I have to say, I regret leaving the program because quitting something never feels good AND it’s awkward to explain to people why you didn’t finish, especially if the person asking is someone reviewing your resume. I know that at the time I was absolutely desperate to get out and felt totally alone in La Puerta de Segura, but I really wished I had tried a little harder to get through it because it was an extremely valuable experience, and looking back, I didn’t take advantage of so many things that I might never get to experience again. My experience in Madrid was great, but it’s one that so many people have and looking back, my most unique, valuable memories are the ones that came out of the little hardships of getting through the program. Chances are that very few people have ever experienced just what you’re experiencing right now, and it’s something to hold on to if you can!

That being said, if you are really miserable or unhappy or just feel like you REALLY don’t want to be where you are anymore, here is how I left the program.

1. I arranged my au pair situation before I notified anyone I was quitting. I used an online service and arranged a start date with a family, and all details (pay, vacation days, etc) were established beforehand. THIS CAN BE RISKY. You never know what the family is really going to be like, and a string of emails is not the same thing as a contract. I really really lucked out with my awesome family, but I know other people who didn’t fare so well. I had started looking for au pair positions in early December and didn’t leave until March 1st, so I also gave myself plenty of time to consider the decision and weigh all my options and really make sure I was making the right choice.

2. I gave my schools and my roommates a month’s notice. I didn’t have a lease signed (things were handled a bit differently in small town Spain!) so I was able to just give notice and go without any paperwork. The school was pretty much the same way. I did have to sign something saying that I was electing to leave the program, but they gave me my last paycheck and I left the next day (I was really poor and needed to time that right to survive!!). I was paid monthly, so I’m not sure exactly how it would work with your quarterly payments.

The schools reacted negatively, but differently. My elementary school was sad about my departure. I was closer to the teachers and students there and they had been more welcoming all along. They gave me a goodbye presentation and made me feel really crappy for leaving. My high school was a little colder about the whole thing. The principal there was not as nice and was bitter about having to live in the small town (evidently he hadn’t had much say in his assignment either!). I didn’t get much sympathy from them, but they were the ones who handled my paperwork and gave me my last check, no problems.

Some other things to remember is that the program is pretty great when you’re looking at hours you have to work and payment. You’re probably not going to find another set-up that gives you so much freedom. As an au pair, get ready to say goodbye to your weekends and independence, unless you have a REALLY exceptional family. I had one day off per week (though that didn’t stop the baby from wanting to play), and each month I got one full weekend. That meant no real traveling. I also was only free in the mornings and evenings, which was good in some ways but super annoying in others (you have kind of the opposite schedule of most people our age, though you can still go out at night). Babysitting at night could be a drag, and payment is suuuuper minimal, though all worries of running out of food/water/gas for your hot water are gone because the family takes care of that. Really think about what you want to get out of au pairing and what you have now in the program and make sure the trade-off is worth it.

I don’t know much about WWOOF except that it looks really cool, but also make sure that you have enough money to pursue that option. I’ve heard good things from friends who have done it in New Zealand and other parts of Europe, but they were ok with not having much mobility AND with roughing it, not to mention not having much of an income.

The last thing to think about is private English teaching. That is how I made most of my money in Madrid, and though it carries some risks and isn’t the most consistent of jobs, there are plenty of people looking to learn English in the big Spanish cities, and they are willing to pay good money.

Ok now the real last thing–your NIE should be good for one year from the day you got it, probably sometime in October of this year….why not finish the program and THEN WWOOF or become an au pair for the summer? My understanding is that a lot of families are looking for nannies in the summer when they kids are out of school all day. Spanish summers are incredible and you could extend your stay (kinda) legally. If you’re job-hunting in the US, I would say you are much less likely to find something when you’re not here to physically come in for an interview (that was DEFINITELY my experience), so if you’re not in a rush to come back, think about doing all of the above. Trust me, if I could have stayed longer, I would have in a second, but the long-term boyfriend and my student loans were beckoning and I pretty much ran out of money!

I hope that helps you a little, I know that there is not that much info out there on the program and there’s pretty much NOTHING out there on quitting. Hang in there if you can and please enjoy Spain for me! I miss it so much.

Book Review: Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick

Jessica Hoolko — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:07:05 +0000

Throughout this blog I’ve tried to address the many sides to travel, good bad and ugly, and I hope I’ve made a point of acknowledging that many of the best travel experiences you can have aren’t going to be 100% positive or smooth or easy (I hope I’ve also made clear that those experiences will almost always seem more positive, smoother, and easier (not to mention more glamorous) once they’re behind you).

I am not going to say that I always travel to learn, to put myself outside of my comfort zone and experience new people and places, because often when I go on a trip my #1 objective is to have a good time and experience something new, nothing more (example: Oktoberfest!). But still, the more I travel, the more I am interested in forcing myself into situations that I know will be awkward or unnerving or completely alien to me, because those experiences always make the most powerful memories (examples: Albania! Couchsurfing!). Those experiences can also be the most helpful in bringing you face to face with your stereotypes and assumptions about different people and places. It’s easy to assume that you know about a place because you’ve read about it repeatedly in the news or because you make assumptions of what you would be like if you lived there. There’s nothing like seeing a country in real life or talking to real live humans with a completely different worldview than you to make you realize just how different some places are from what you know and are comfortable with–and how similar some things can be, even in the most distant corners of the globe. I haven’t been able to travel nearly as much as I’d like to in my life due to a lack of vacation time and money, but even getting a little bit beyond your border has the potential to expose you to things that you never knew existed. Looking at yourself and your country from a distance is a remarkably revelatory thing.

But back to those restrictions of time and money. Those can be a problem if you’re hoping to broaden your horizons by zooming across continents to connect with foreign cultures. I get the opportunity to do that maybe once a year, and I must say I squandered my valuable cultural connection time last year on a Mexican beach resort and Oktoberfest….buuuut I will also say that those trips were totally worth their weight in vacation days and I don’t regret them at all!

So 2011 was not my year for meaningful, enlightening travel. It was however, the year of the kindle. I will wax poetic on the many wonderful features of my kindle at a later time, but let’s just say that it has allowed me to get a lot more reading in, and there were a number of books that I read over the past year that allowed me to travel vicariously through their narratives and characters to some of those exotic locales that I missed in 2011.

One of the more exotic (or less, depending on how you define exotic) locations to which I decided to pay a literary visit was North Korea, via Barbara Demick’s non-fictional Nothing to Envy. I’ve always wondered about North Korea, mainly because the place seems SO DAMN WEIRD. How can a country be so backward, especially when surrounded by some of the most quickly advancing societies in the world? How can one leader be so controlling? How can people who are clearly being wronged be so devoted to such a strange little man? How can the entire country just seem so crazy? I feel like most accounts of North Korea come from a very American perspective, or maybe more accurately a very non-North Korean perspective. Coming from a place as open as the States, it’s hard to imagine the kind of control that a truly dictatorial, completely closed government can exert on its people. It’s hard to imagine all the things that we take for granted in a wealthy, capitalist society, and it’s especially hard to imagine what it would be like if all of our sources of information were cut off and controlled by a government that only wanted us to see, learn, and experience certain things. Accounts of the country typically focus on the eccentricities of the recently departed Kim Jong-il or the absolutely ridiculous (but admittedly amazing) performances of the Arirang Festival. What’s refreshing about Demick’s book is that it tells the story of North Korea from a new perspective, from the point of view of ordinary North Koreans. These people weren’t all party members, didn’t all live in Pyongyang, and they weren’t groomed by the regime to tell a certain story. The result is a collection of sincere, captivating stories of normal lives in a decidedly abnormal place. The six stories woven together by Demick together create a rather compelling narrative that I really couldn’t put down. It lacks some of the elements of your typical page-turner, but the stories are so revealing of what life is like above the DMZ, and the topic so typically unexplored, that I plowed through the book, emerging with a new fascination for North Korea. The passing of Kim Jong-il a few weeks back makes this book rather timely and even more interesting. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to broaden their horizons on an empty wallet.

And for those of you looking for a bit more information on North Korean, check out the following photo essays on life in the country.

Rare visions of Rural North Korea

Exposing North Korea

8 Amazing North Korea Photo Essays

¡Feliz día de los Reyes Magos!

Jessica Hoolko — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 08:22:38 +0000

Today, or maybe yesterday at this point, was the day that many children in Spain have eagerly been awaiting all winter. The day of the three wise men, as it’s literally translated, is known to many as Epiphany in English. It’s the day when Spanish children traditionally receive their gifts, though now many families do gifts on Christmas and Epiphany.

Biblically speaking, the day celebrates the visitation of the Magi (also known as the three kings) to the baby Jesus, symbolizing the revelation of Christ’s god/man powers to the gentiles. Those three characters climbing the rope in between the multiple Santa Clauses in the above picture (taken in La Puerta de Segura) are said Magi, and people had those things up all over Spain! Instead of Santa leaving presents under the tree, I am pretty sure the wise men break into peoples’ houses somehow and leave gifts under their shoes in exchange for hay/sweet wine/other goodies. Kinda like St. Nicholas day in the U.S., for those of you who were raised Catholic here, but better.

Spanish Events in San Francisco (and other US cities)

Jessica Hoolko — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:37:14 +0000

I am always on the lookout for things that will bring me a little taste of Spain here in California. Usually I mean that literally, as Spanish restaurants almost always top my to-do list (and almost always disappoint!). When I want to get in touch with Spain and I’m not hungry (a very rare state indeed), I use a great website to help find local events involving and/or promoting Spanish culture, art, music, and design, among other things. If you click on the red image, you’ll be taken to the aptly named Spain Art and Culture site for the US, where you can look up events by city as well as theme. Recent events in SF have included an annual flamenco festival featuring artists such as Diego El Cigala and a showcase of young Spanish designers at Fort Mason that was sponsored by Freixenet and B44 and included plenty of free cava and canapes. If you live in a big city, chances are they’ll eventually have something to offer in your area, though it’s pretty New York-heavy, as many things are!